how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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