Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
