I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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