thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
