fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I need water and some morals
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
