I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
