Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
