My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
