Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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