Your tits are I can't wait for
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
