You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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