if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
