yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
