I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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