I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
