guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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