i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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