I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
