I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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