Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just want to make out with him forever
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
