ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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