Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
