perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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