so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
