those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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