Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
