Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
