She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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