I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize