can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
if only i could text you this smell
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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