Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
