it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
