We're like a lot better than the average bears
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
