i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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