I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Randomize
