FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
