I think I can smell my own vagina right now
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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