the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
