Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
