I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
