guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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