his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
