thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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