just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Randomize
