this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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