i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
