There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
did you just send me my own nude
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize