I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We are all done wearing pants today
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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