oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize