YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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