Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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