so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize