Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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