and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We named our party play list daddy issues
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Randomize
