Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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