the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
