You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
