my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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