Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
So. Much. Porn.
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