I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
