very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
