We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
