Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
