We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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