My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
