She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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