My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
