a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize